Bad, BAD Luck!

Dear all...

THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE!!!
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AND IT'S ONLY THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK!!!

Let me narrate what happened.

I had exam on Tuesday. Was not a good exam overall... but can do. Just frustrated that whatever I deemed important was not such a good spot on. But the best thing came after that. Someone actually reached into my bag, as in take my bag, opened it up and took my phone, zipped it bag and put my bag back where that thief took it. He only took my phone, left my wallet. So fine, I lost my phone...

The next day, while walking back from campus, I had the luck to meet a snatch-thief. So now, not only is my phone stolen, my purse, IC, driver's license, in short, everything is gone!

I know, I can't do anything. What is done is done, but I am so pissed!!

And we found out later, my friends and I, that this little b**tard is a pretty well-known idiot. He goes around snatching ppl stuffs, normally targeting ladies and students. Even students walking in groups! No one has been able to catch him as of yet.

Went to the police station, found out from chit-chatting with the policewomen, a lot of snatching been going on in Malacca. Kinda makes u wonder how safe is Malacca...

Oh well, people, if you can't get me through my phone... well you know what happened.

By the way, I'm coming back Penang tomorrow, Thursday.

What a good farewell greeting huh?

Exam blues...

Having exams sucks... BIG time! The fact that I still can't believe I'm having exams now does not help either (and I finished three papers already!!).

I mean who can blame me? Exams started last week, first paper on the 15th, and I handed in my last assignment on the 11th, the Friday before the exam week. It's just too weird that all of us are still so hung up over assignments when we should be studying for our finals!!

Add in all those crazy happenings around me, like my sister buzzing me through Ym! around midnight just to inform me that her pet hamster, Hero (which I personally believe Coward is a more suitable name than Hero), needs a mate. Nope people, you did not hear me wrong, her wonderful pet needs a mate. Why? Because she and her roommate caught him, and I quote 'pleasing himself'. If I do not need my head to study and finish my assignments, I would have just bang my head on the table... several times. The fact that my housemates are asleep helps in stalling my imminent self-inflicted-headache. But the ensuing conversation (which I will never, ever repeat, for the love of my sanity) had me from twitching to moaning about needing more coffee and finally to asking my housemate if we stock hard liquor in our house. It did not help when the said housemate came over and read through the messages and concluded that hard liquor is a necessity.

And I have yet to watch Spiderman... though hearing from my friends about it kinda put me off it... I mean, they concluded the ending as a good contender for the ending of Titanic, for gays that is. No offense to any gays... but still... Spiderman is suppose to be and action show, no? It's suppose to be 'good guys win, bad guys die' kind of thing, no? With a lot of supernatural nonsense and what-not, no? So hearing about Titanic scene kinda... odd...

I should be studying, will be having my last paper on Fabrication tomorrow. Not that I hate it, I find it fascinating in contrast to many people. It's just that there's so many things to memorize! And anyone who knows me knows how good my memory is... which is very bad. Sigh...

Most of my batch are 'merdeka-ing' already. Lucky brats... Hahaha... many asked if I have search for a job. I have not, I just don't think I wanna rush looking for job. True, I have finish studying, and like many, it means it is time to take my next step into the world. But when I really sit down and think about it, do I really want to search for a job immediately after graduating? Or maybe I want to do something else? Do I wanna to get myself stuck in an office or even a factory so immediately after graduating? Or maybe I want to go open my eyes a bit and look around? I really don't know. But I do know I don't want to get stuck in an office yet. Hell, working in a coffee house sound a lot better than that.

I'm just not ready to go out as an engineer yet. Or maybe I don't want to. Sometimes when one spend so much time doing something, they just lost interest in it. Like me... I'm not one of those who just continue on with life as it is. In fact, I'm dissatisfied with it. I don't wanna get coped up doing what everyone expect me to. I wanna live... I'm tired of living up to expectations. Life like that... is not life at all. I'm just thankful that I have the luxury to do that. And that I have parents that, no doubt, will be frowning over this but will still let me do as I wish.

I wonder, how many of you have ever think that you have lost your way in life? Not the 'I got lost in the road of life' via Kakashi-style from Naruto, but the one where you find that your life holds no meaning what-so-ever for you? Where the things you do no longer satisfy you or even give you a sense of accomplishments? Where everything has seems so monotonous that you just get frustrated over little things or find that you no longer have the urge to get something done? Or when you find yourself unable to care even when you know that your actions might yield unsatisfactory results or consequences for you?

I have, and now I'm in the slums of all slums, and I can't seem to pull myself out of it. And frankly, I'm making a mess out of my life right now.

Mayhaps that is the reason I'm not searching for a job. On the risk of sounding cliche, I need to find myself first before I find a job. Besides.... I really need a break.

In the end, it comes down to one thing... what do I want out of my life?

Maybe the stress of the semester is really catching up to me, leading to my blue-state.